Sharing details about yourself is a crucial part of romance. After all, how far would a relationship go if partners weren’t willing to reveal their experiences, thoughts, and feelings to each other?
That being said, people don’t just hand everything over to someone the moment they get involved. The opening happens gradually and the most difficult thing for a couple is to adapt over the same period of time.
As Reddit user CapableEmergency5154’s recent case shows, this can be quite difficult. Talking to “Am I the (Jerk)?” community, the woman recalled the argument that broke out between her and her now ex-boyfriend after he found out she was a landlord.
Financial incompatibility is a common problem among romantic partners
Image credits: nebojsa_ki (not the actual photo)
But unfortunately, this woman learned it the hard way.
Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual photo)
Image credits: CapableEmergency5154
After her story went viral, the woman promised to provide an update on the situation and joined the discussion in the comments.
Finally she kept her promise
Image credits: s_kawee (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Khoa Võ (not the actual photo)
Image credits: CapableEmergency5154
You don’t become open with your partner overnight
Gabrielle Applebury, a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in areas such as trauma and communication, says people usually start sharing more detailed personal information after they decide to stop dating other people.
“This usually happens after at least a few months of consistent dating, when there is a high level of emotional closeness, openness to vulnerability with each other, and support,” says Applebury.
As with many things, there’s no right formula, but couples in an exclusive relationship can take the initiative to have serious discussions about finances (things like salaries, debts, and whether they are spenders or savers) when they start to move forward. to bigger milestones, like bigger vacations or even living together.
So the fact that the Redditor’s ex expected her to reveal ownership before finding out how he did it is not that unreasonable.
Additionally, a 2020 survey found that 64% of couples admit to being “financially incompatible” with their partner, with different philosophies on spending, saving and investing their money, which can lead to this called financial infidelity (an act that 45% of committed adults have admitted to being guilty of).
But making accusations and then demanding half of your rental income is not a way to resolve these disagreements.
Instead, a healthy way to initiate such discussions, according to Applebury, may be to purchase a shared item and discuss who will pay how much and why, plan and host a dinner together, purchase the wedding gift or friend’s birthday, etc. .
People began offering advice and suggestions to the woman.